January 2010 Archives
Tuesday Thought: Leading parts, type 1
Leading parts, type 1
A leading part is a phrase that opens a sentence and describes the subject without directly naming it. It creates a sense of anticipation.
Type 1
The cue for this most basic of edits is two successive sentences (or clauses) with the same subject. When you find two sentences with the same subject, try to move one independent clause in front of the other, folding the two into a single sentence.
From this:
Mr. Gorbachev is esteemed in the West as the statesman who ended the cold war. But he is extremely unpopular in Russia, where he is blamed for allowing the Soviet Union to fall apart and for not having pushed reform of the command economy far enough.
To this:
Esteemed in the West as the statesman who ended the cold war, Mr. Gorbachev is extremely unpopular in Russia, where he is blamed for allowing the Soviet Union to fall apart and for not having pushed reform of the command economy far enough.
Next week: Leading parts, type 2.
Tuesday Thought: Three ways to use dashes
You can occasionally use a dash to separate part of a sentence and draw attention to it, just as you would with a pause in speech. Because dashes are versatile, it helps to know their three functions: linking an elaboration, setting off parenthetical material, or injecting a pause. Each use adds more emphasis than the standard comma, parentheses, or word space.
Some dashes link an elaboration,
replacing a comma or a colon. Here's an example from Maureen Dowd in the New York Times:
But Saint Obama played
the politics of character to an absurd extent. For 14 months, his argument for
leading the world has been himself--his
exquisitely globalized self.
With a comma instead of the dash, the passage would read:
But Saint Obama played
the politics of character to an absurd extent. For 14 months, his argument for
leading the world has been himself, his
exquisitely globalized self.
The comma throws the reader too quickly into the trailing elaboration.
Elaborative dashes often attract more attention to a phrase than colons, as in this example from The Economist:
He is also interested
in what some religions hold out as the ultimate reward for good behaviour--life after death.
Other dashes are parenthetical, helping readers wade through background or explanatory material in the middle of a sentence. Consider this example from The Atlantic:
The expensive cars [paparazzi] drive reflect the fact that Britney Spears--her marriages, custody battles, fights with her mom, new boyfriends, Starbucks runs, trips to the hospital--is a bigger and more lucrative story than Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton or John Lennon and Yoko Ono.
The dashes help readers process the details without losing the writer's thrust. The dash-less alternative is a jumble that makes it tough for readers to get from the subject (Britney Spears) to the verb (is):
The expensive cars [paparazzi] drive reflect the fact that Britney Spears, including her marriages, custody battles, fights with her mom, new boyfriends, Starbucks runs, and trips to the hospital, is a bigger and more lucrative story than Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton or John Lennon and Yoko Ono.
And still other dashes inject a pause, forcing a moment of reflection on what precedes them--before flinging readers into what follows. Here's an example from a World Bank World Development Report:
Yet billions of people
still live in the darkness of poverty--unnecessarily.
Here the dash simply replaces a word space.
So when should you use a dash? Remember that dashes are pauses, so use them for emphasis--and sparingly. Also, avoid using them in a sentence that has a colon.
